Living a Sweeping Epic

Sunday night season three of Downton Abbey started on PBS.

Monday night I came home to a letter from Show Hope stating they have awarded me an $8,000 grant towards Hannah's adoption fees.

Yeah, my week has started off really well. I mean really, really well.

I'm absolutely floored by another major grant. Floored, but my parents will tell you about me once again jumping in heels and probably quite literally prancing through my living room.

With the $15,000 grant from HelpUsAdopt.com, the $8,000 grant from Show Hope and the generous gifts from so many family members and friends, we're left with about $3,500 which will go towards travel expenses for the coming (hopefully early summer) six-week stay in South Africa.

$3,500 which I know I can pay out of pocket if need be.

It's hard to find the right words. The words to say how many people believe in Hannah home - how many people are standing behind Hannah and I and family forever - and what it means to know they're - you're - standing there.

Because this thing - Hannah home - was a small whisper I heard in my heart one Sunday morning on a cool August day.

It was a call to trust and believe in a God who's bigger, a God who can handle the details.

A small whisper which seems a booming voice as family and friends and acquaintances and perfect strangers stand behind us believing in the small whisper I heard all those months ago.

And the details - somewhere around $35,000 in details - are being beautifully and faithfully handled.

I look at myself, and I don't feel quite deserving of this story - this story which is far more epic and beautiful than any I could ever write. But I suppose that is the point, isn't it? We're never quite deserving of the story we're given. We're never quite worthy of the part we'll play in God's story of creation and love and heartbreak and reconciliation. The point is not us being worthy or deserving but him being good and gracious.

The point is always him.

The point is a God who sees fit to adopt me in my shame and ugliness and brokenness. A God who sees fit to rescue me from my orphanhood and put his name upon me, making me an heir in his glorious kingdom. A God who sees fit to adopt and love each of us though we are completely undeserving.

This story being written is a sweeping epic of a story. It's a story spanning continents and oceans. It's a story spanning months and years. It's a story spanning lives lost and lives gained.

I'm blessed and honored to be living it; even though, I often feel small and hobbit-like and completely unworthy of such an epic story.

The longer I leaf through the pages of this story, I grow ever more convinced there are sweeping epics awaiting us all - mysteries and romances, yes, but far more than those, epics. The human heart was created by an epic God to live epically. Our challenge is to find our story - to put foot to pavement, to take the first step into the sweeping epic lives which await us if only we'll step out our front door.

I'd love to hear your epic stories. Please share in the comments section or write a post of your own and link us to it in the comments.


*Hannah is a pseudonym. In order to protect her identity until she is fully and legally mine, I use "Hannah" in all online activity regarding my someday daughter and her adoption.

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Please consider helping us raise the last bit of Hannah's adoption fees:

1. Buy a t-shirt from AdoptionBug.com.

2. Buy coffee from JustLoveCoffee.com.

3. Send a check to Oasis Haven US: (Your gift through Oasis Haven US is tax deductible.)

    PO Box 28362
    San Diego, CA
    92198

    *Please write "adoption support" on the memo line.